A Personal Note from Stella's Mom

Dear friends,

I have been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I wish there was a better way to say this, but cancer just isn't that polite.

Two months ago I found a lump in my neck above my clavicle bone. Being the procrastinator I am, it took me six weeks before I consulted with a doctor. (I also have a baby mind you, so scheduling these appointments can be difficult) So, in one month, one primary care doctor, a referral to a surgeon at Vanderbilt, four CT scans, a referral to an Oncologist, an ultrasound and ultimately a biopsy that lead to my diagnosis.

Today I met the Hematologist Oncologist at Vanderbilt that will be taking over my care. Thursday I will have a bone marrow biopsy, PET scan and a test that shows the strength of my heart and Friday I will have my first round of chemotherapy. I will have eight rounds of chemotherapy over the next four months and then five weeks of radiation. Hodgkin's Lymphoma is treatable and, ultimately, curable.

My greatest concern has been for Stella. My heart is broken. I waited so long to have this sweet baby and I don't want to miss one second. I also have loved breastfeeding her and tomorrow will be our last day together like that. But, she also is the reason that I know everything is going to be alright. She is so little and needs her mommy to be well, so I go into this thinking of her.

I wanted to know exactly where I stood before sharing this. I will do my best to update you all along the way.

Love,
Markana

O baby!

Tonight Stella helped us cheer our candidate into history. You would have to lack breath to not be moved by Barack Obama's ability to inspire and unify our nation. Just looking at him helps me believe that there is much hope for our country. We are a new America and our future looks bright from where I stand.

As parents we make choices for our children until they are able to find their own voice. My choice, and today's victory, I made for my daughter so that one day her voice will be heard. In this country she has the opportunity to be who she wants to be, live the life she wants to live and make decisions for herself that are hers to make. It is my job as her mother to protect that - for the next 4 years anyway.

Fast friends

Here's Stella with her first best friend, Samantha Wright. At least that's how we'd have it.

Sam is the daughter of our good friends Jim and Amanda that live across the street. Sam is also the world's most perfect, calm and cooperative child. The kind that just wakes up peacefully in her crib and will stare at the ceiling quietly until you come to pick her up.

Stella, on the other hand, just spent all of Thursday wrestling with her mom every time she got tired or hungry. Markana swears Stella tried to punch her today. You'd also think her crib collapsed by the way she's been announcing the end of her naps.

Regardless, they make a pretty cute combo.

Oh, and how about Stella's corduroys? Stylin', as usual.

New Hat

No real news to report, except that Stella got this rockin' new hat today. It's been quite chilly in Nashvegas, and babies need hats that match their favorite pets.

Ok, seriously... (pt 2)

I naturally thought on August 5 that a cuter blog picture would never exist. Clearly, I was wrong.

So what if this pose is just a left hand's brief stop between floor and mouth? It could just as easily be her headshot for the jacket cover of her Pulitzer Prize-winning third novel. Or the poster for her speaking tour after winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Of course, she'll have to put her acting career on hold...

Gourdgeous

Stella celebrated her 3-month birthday with a trip to Walden Farm where she got her first look at pumpkins, chickens, pigs, ducks, goats, cows, and turkeys. Mmm...delicious.

What did she learn? That her right hand tastes great no matter where she is.


See more farm pics on Picasa.

Cornfest 2008!

Doin' Stuff

Lack of updates. We know.

Markana has tried several unsuccessful times to recount her/our experiences of Stella's birth, but writer's block seems to be one of the unmentioned postpartum side effects. Maybe the muse will visit at a later date.

So for now, a quick update of Stella's more recent accomplishments:

• reaching
• grabbing (sometimes)
• sleeping through the night (we think we're officially past the 'it's just a fluke' stage)
• complete love of the dogs (I'm serious)
• apathy, borderline hatred towards the cats (seriously, I'm serious)
• lots of smiles and giggles

I'd also list love of pizza and cheese, but I think that's called projection. Or genetics.

At any rate, and as most of you already know from your own experiences, it's extremely fun watching her discover her hands/feet and work hard to get them to cooperate, make new noises (laughs, yells, unidentifiables) and generally turn into a little person. Ah, big fun.

And, yes, we officially concede the fact that we really do have a very happy and cooperative little baby. The first few weeks were trying and had us concerned at times (surprise!), but after some diet adjustments and a few doctor consults, we think we're doing o.k.

Again, sorry for the lack of posts, but for anyone who hasn't been keeping track, there's lots of activity on Stella's photo page. Visit our Picasa photo albums for a steady visual record of what she's been up to.

ltr.

Baby Love

I have put off writing for so long that I don't even know where to begin. The last seven weeks have been such a whirlwind. Looking at this picture reminds me of how quickly things change.

You know the saying, "A baby changes everything". Well, it does. We are in so deep now, it is hard to imagine where we were before. (Except for all the beautiful sleep we had, or those sunny days lounging by the pool or all the wine I still can't drink due to breastfeeding.)

This entire experience has tested patience that I didn't have much of to begin with, made me cry more tears than I knew I could cry, made me realize that anything I thought I knew about having a baby was completely wrong, appreciate my husband even more than I did before and taught me to love deeper than I have ever known. It truly is beautifully humbling.

I promise (very soon) to ellaborate on the finer details of how our life started with Stella and where we are today. Every day is ever changing.

Ok, seriously...

Can you honestly look at this picture and not think Miss Stella is the cutest baby on the planet?!?

(Apologies to the Westbrooks, Freemans, Sewells, Steakleys, Shugarts, Throops, Kings and Wrights. And by 'apologies' I mean I'm sorry your children aren't this cute.)

Not convinced? Check this one out...

Are you kidding me? I mean, come on. Al Gore is gonna have to launch a campaign about the sudden rise of global cuteness.